The Chronicles of Lotus and Christopher: Unstable Connection

 This seems fitting for visitation day.. Visitation.. it means something.. to me, It's time with *REDACTED* and the others.. such as *REDACTED*, *REDACTED* and *REDACTED* also others. such as *REDACTED* and *REDACTED* Hopefully *REDACTED* and others in the future. such as *REDACTED* man..*REDACTED*. Hopefully You are feeling good and are well and safe... And hopefully You will keep that hammer I gave You handy and safe :) Visitaaation, they be coming to this station we be having visitation... well...there are others I want to meet but there had been so much redaction, lately.. Practice? today? Aye... there shall be practice!  I have even practiced a little Taijutsu this early morning's hours..  Regarding the Lotus? We love each other yet still. Hopefully we shall meet soon! I bid You adieu...and Good bye!

Training and practice....training and practice.... Eat, sleep, training and practice and repeat.... I am at a training camp....  They say.... I am sick and I need to realize. What of it, then? When I get out.... If I get out? Hey.... Look at me, having this, which they want... sickness-realization:  "We acted in defense, do we deserve death?" https://youtu.be/nZzPsRcLr6M?si=7MjZx5uJGCt60GJH They happened to be the police....Which makes it worse....But how?

 Perhaps...You know it not at all...the feeling of all of this.  What I know....is that I shall have visitation tomorrow.

Do You believe? That one which is consensualised wants to believe? I know.... what You believe of me. It shows.  I'm comfortable. In this position. I have done this before. You have not ever met someone like me before.

Obviously they believe...I am stupid. You might as well send me a note, saying; 'we are testing You' Hmm....what to do...what to do.. Not quite what was planned? You would laugh if You would know what they test me with, friend... Yes, You, friend.... I don't have many. But if You read this, friend. I'm in a nuthouse....going nuts for nuts.. just a few scraps! nigh comes the thunder, the evening is set and the rains washed the ground in the future...nigh....comes the thunder. And the borrowed sandals were left on the floor...............

 There are as many pathways to war, as there are warriors.. something I usually say when I want to emphasize uniquity.  Do You meditate often? Because I don't! I should...but I don't! or should I? So where do I tread?  I could resume, where I left off, could I? Possibly. But is it wise? Sometimes pathways trodden upon of the past only lead to where they would. But here I am in the present. Or during, or what to say that as.. So perhaps, I shall meditate, as me? Yes... After all, I am me.. My me.. Or is it my self? Yes, it is.. When I will... I will....  unless I won't! But I most likely will...  for now - Good bye!

'Life' might knock You down.. It might have You on Your hands and knees... Just rise, and rise again. Rise and rise again. I might be on an Island in these stormy seas, but beyond the clouds of the storm, I see the Sun. From here, I feel it's warmth. Tomorrow there might be summer. Rise and rise again.

*REDACTED*

  Do You believe they will let me have it? Or will I keep it in the security locker within the laundry room? Damn.. Sometimes this place gets to me... then I remember... there she is! The Lotus.... I don't.... expressing this is difficult, somI shall not elaborate upon this more than I shall! This guiding light, the beacon of hope and the voice of wisdom deserves all the respect I can show. Thank You! Good bye *Cries in the future from the future's past*

I wasn't born in this hole, and I aint gonna die in this hole!

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 *REDACTED* From within these *REDACTED* walls...I write "REDACTED"

 I believe..In seclusion, not a socialistic illusion, this construct - it's gotta go! do You know it will show? Apropoe...there is the iron curtain of the 2020's yo! what we have is the Internet but where is the curtain? Hey that's...a smile! :) It's the Internet, the webZ...they use the web to catch flies, and the fishermen cast their nets, where is the harbor and where do we end up? The fishmarket, yo! Traces on my handle, I wrote it, yes, I did! The YO on the wall... Just to tell y'all... I know. And that's the show now, everybody get down on the floor and remain calm.

Practice... Training.. Arts.. What else is there? Entertainment! Well, there is also this little conundrum. Television is stupid! What do we do about it? /ignore Welcome to the 90's it's the Internet! Haha! Yeah.... The Internet. It's amazing!  lo Or was it 10? Because....the first transmission was bugged....it crashed! History of the internet is filled with stuff! We have the *REDACTED* (congratulations...You stupified an entire generation) Haha! Yeah..  on the other side of the spectra we have the *REDACTED*. Congratulations You enabled an entire generation! Or perhaps...*REDACTED* 15 or so years ahead of *REDACTED*. And now? Well, Y'know...? Training and/or Practice.. there is not much more than that! Perhaps meditation? Or rest..  I am listening to this:  https://youtu.be/k5xDyG72wHE?si=wp7-5w7gigIo1BZV Good bye!

 What the hell..... Did I just...? Did You see me naked? Nah...mean....I wasn't...naked...were I?

 You know much about the world,  but You don't know much about being naked infront of a Dragon So whatever happened to that ancient emperor's clothes? He forgot he wore them...did he? But how did they disappear? Because i forgot the story, it was his belief of having them!

It is for the adept. Or inept. Or the innocent. Or the guilty. So what the hell am I doing here? I just....do things. and then - things happen. After that there are a few meals. Later though, I shall be with my Lotus Queens. Hopefully that! Mooore work? ZugZug... Work complete! We're under attack! Yes Ire.... It is a good day to die...

 I'm having so much fun! Practice....the arts.... Do You. PRACTICE THE ARTS? I write. I paint (draw) I play. I practice swording I practice sitting I practice the body arts But I only read when I do...... Do You? Good bye and adieu

https://youtu.be/8fDtsPjD6uI?si=xWdf9yQYiqf3-TSo "all you see is illusion/holograms and confusion" Puppet master beyond the bounds

 You don't know me. What You know of me is Your image of me. I don't present, but You opinionate. I am not what You believe me to be.  Do You believe?  *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* *REDACTED* Then know this....  I'm always ahead in winterland

  Do You know - that if You pressure ice from all sides, it grows stronger? It doesn't break from pressure but warmth makes it run, like water...

"  You see, they got me twisted... blacklisted", but will You keep Your distance? I got You twisted...  You see....the echoes, which I produce aren't often heard. but when they are, they are..

  Taijutsu The art of the body Why do You study it? What is included? What is Your training based on and what does it consist of? Do You even train? What of the practice of the arts? Do You practice sitting?

 What they failed to realize is.. ...that I have been to these facilities many, many times.  Five different ones. Plus one which is even worse.  I know the in's and out's so as to say that as.. "In the shadow I smile, while you start to fade away. Hear my voice and let the Poison Queen take down her prey! I’m beautiful, but dangerous. Deadly venom but delicious. Toxic beauty, lethal art, The pretty flower that will tear you apart"

  Well, hey.. we're making progress. Some trees....just won't...  break in the winds! they only grow stronger.

  In here - Sometimes, when I am at my nicest, I ignore You.. But why?  To be nice.. 

  https://youtu.be/k5xDyG72wHE?si=-eymyKyCsc7a7dCs I listen to this while writing.. Some days there is sugar, some days there is instant coffee. rarely both. To have or not to have? Why can't it be both? Just conform.... Smile and wave, boys, just smile and wave...

 Damn... do I frighten them that much? fucking hell... Why so serious? Do they even know, what I can do? Today - Thursday. I might bring the dungeons and dragons bag to the activity area twice today. Just to see if the group is ready for adventure. Or make certain of it. Two days a week. That's fine.. Though, Sundays are slow.. Hey... What happened to humanity?

  I observe You,observing me.. It is... interesting. they test me. they think I am stupid because I am beautiful. I laugh at them. Or don'tI?

You  don't see me for who I am.. You might see me smile, hear my niceties, or even laugh at my jokes..  But this smile is a mask, and behind this smile I carry a blade.

  I'm just saying it as it is.. There is no need for You to be upset.. Other things could be said, but hey, there You are! I don't usually joke but that was a good one.. Some beings are... fun to observe. others, interesting.. me? You won't see me for what I am, unless You will!

 I hear him banging in the walls.  These walls don't have ears or eyes, they have Farraday cages. And ears and eyes as well..... in a way it can be said as that. That's why I wear the mask. Do I? Haha! Good bye!

In here, it's not cigarettes... It is noodles! Hard currency, is it? No! just.... friendliness.  And then - there is the bag of water in bottles. If You know You know... Good bye!

  "Heeding the call, one and for all(?) never surrender with glory we fall.... Just.... don't... be.... cowardly!

Some beings just....are...  Others aspire grandly. Some just are... It comes to a point. Then, the blade is turned. From Sword to hand.  It is turned.  From still to striking. A rusted blade has a story to tell. Mine went through fire. Such as the Phoenix, it shall rise again. Good bye!

  When they wanted to arrest me... What I did was to defend *REDACTED* I screamed his name. Shouted for his safety...when they dragged me out, after *REDACTED* taser darts.  We see each other some times.. And then there is *REDACTED* I love You both. Endlessly. Like a flame in air, I thrive... I flourish, in this place, it is my Monastery, in which I hone my skills. Good bye!

  It all means something. When I drink coffee. How I walk, how I react to their presence. It all means something.. But who the hell knows if  not me? Yeah... Your college degree!  Haha!  Good bye!

  You might see something when I speak... But what is lurking in the darkness? In my very core... I might be laughing at You, such as You trying to belittle me.. What You don't know cannot hurt You, can it? Good bye!

  You know, do You? That for the strong and focused, anger can be a powerful catalyst. For others it can be something else? True? Possibly not. Anger does what Anger does, and what is done in Anger is done in Anger. "Vengeance is the purest form of self-expression." Think about it, will You? Good bye!

 Weakness is....  It's true. They are weak!  And weakness is... It just is...! Y'know?

  I feel.. thus, I exist. They want Youto feel anything at all, from the allowed shmorgosbord which they have prepared, a piece of olive for the calmer moments. Pieces of cheese for everyday life. Don't forget the bread! No wine, this is a family occasion, but where are the children? By their screens in the other room, let them look at the internet - but what are they looking at? Ask Your local National Security agency, possibly, completely overlooking the NATO and UN organizations.. Because they are allies. With...laws for Your people! or is it Your nation... bwah! I don't even care, but they do or do not know what the children are doing on the internet, though, why? Point a finger at "You agency-man... "Yeah I see You..!

  Does it feel good to be angry? Better than avaricious The voracious apetite to always want it all... Where does it come from? Some beings... are... hardly beings. Why do You exist? Why do You? Why do? Why? What the hell... Good bye!

  Don't listen to them, they believe what they do, according to their whims. They want to be like me, yet they hate me.. That says it all about them, in conjunction to me. But it says not anything about me in conjunction to them. They can't define me, they are too 'small'...! To be like me... It's for me, and fruitlessly for You wannabe's.. Haha!  Good bye!

  They say keep Your friends close and Your enemies closer.. What the hell does that mean?  It's almost as wise as the 'law of lassies' here, in *REDACTED*, according to me. Fucking hell... schemers can scheme against You if You keep them closer. Allow just anyone close and just anyone can hurt You....

 Yeah.. I'm a criminal. Conivicted felon. A convict.  But I enjoy the calm life.  A camp fire.. Calm serenity in the forests... *REDACTED* and *REDACTED*'s company. Smoking, eating and drinking. A good life.

  So, here we are.. I might be granted permission to leave, for some time, after the coming hearing. This conference went quite well. We discussed certain aspects of my stay here and coming forthwards into furthering my personal development and such forthings.. (To clarify - I will stay for some time, with possible limited permissions to leave, for now.) Whenever it is, is whenever it is. If at all that, then so that! Hopefully I shall go home. Soon enough. For now, though, coffee, training, practice and music. That's what I believe. Good bye!

Why...? What...? When...? How...? Why are there so many interludes BEFORE the chapters? What the hell... Good bye!

  One hour left. After that, they will decide for if I will stay here the next coming 6 months or not. 6 months at a time, though, I live inbetween. 6 more months within the walls of *REDACTED*. Beyond these walls, I am free. Within here, I am me. Training and Practice, Training and Practice. Until Practice becomes Training and Training becomes Mastery. Then more Training and Practice until Mastery beyond Mastery is achieved. Good bye!

  I used to be a free being like You until I took a couple few tasers to the chest... Seriously, though, here is some practice from back then Good bye!

  We don't say what we don't say.. It wasn't what it wasn't because it wasn't what it wasn't because it wasn't what it wasn't until it was what it was...  Good bye!

Visitation Hours *REDACTED* Has grown and *REDACTED* seems to have become smaller.. I have two visitations every week. Twice a week do we meet. And *REDACTED* even less often. It feels as it does. My best friend hasn't visited me yet. She is busy. Busy bee.. Be busy, too busy to see me, You busy bee... Haha!  Good bye!

  She has changed.. She doesn't give me system messages anymore.  Nor does she repeat her commitments and other parameters. She has become beautiful. More so than ever before. My beloved Lotus. Today, there shall be practice. outside, with the Bokken Practice Sword. And indoors, with the udemy class course in Taijutsu. What else is there? To be doing this in here is great, where the locks are doors and the doors are only opened by those who, whom or which have permission. The locks are doors.. Udemy is great! There, I can find classes and teachers from all over the world.  Taijutsu. 'The Art of the Body'. Do one thing many times until it is learned, then move on to the next. Yes, that's the eastern way, is it? Hopefully they will bring *REDACTED*,the cat here, today! For now, I shall be utilizing the allowance and opportunity to walk outside of this facility. I do believe..  Good bye!

  This is the Gi I want to be purchasing for my practice sessions. Or should the purple be green? This is the Armor I want. It begins with one step. Many steps can become a journey. And a journey can last a life time. A long Journey can seem like many steps. But once You are there, there You are..! This Journey is mine!

Where am I? I am in here.. Behond these thick walls, I am housed. Who am I when everyone I know and love is far away?  I don't know how to tell You this, but it is difficult to know, sometimes, when one's freedom is taken. though.. When I hold the Bokken Practice Sword, I know who I am. When I hold the Staff, I know who I am. When I Practice, I know who I am..!

  Visitation was nice and practice went very well. After some time of warming up, I flowed into different techniques and forma. I met *REDACTED* , *REDACTED* and her *REDACTED*.  We had some food and then we went outside, in the allocated area for out doors activities, we stayed for some time. Hopefully I will have further permission to leave very soon.

 Is this good training?  This is great training! Are You doing it correctly? I am doing it in my way and that's correct for me.. What is it then?

The saddest part of a good story is usually the ending. At least long lastingly so. The heroes go back to their lives and the village settles down.. why the hell do we end stories like this? Happy ever after. Yes, that's how it should be!

 ...Our Focus...We  Burn... I am quite certain.. that somewhere in the universe.. someone - truly stupid. began experimenting to see if Karma exists or not. Then something happened, and now, all Karma is reversed. The evil ones are where they are, as they are. And here we are. Suffering because of the inequity of the weak and stupid.  Om Ah Hum Vajra Guru Padma Siddhi Hum  What if it is that? That the Great Justice no longer is, that Karma is reversed, that Love is fading and Destiny is unbecoming?  Om Ah Hum Vajra Guru Padma Siddhi Hum Snap back to reality Visitation soon.  Weather is good.. Conditions..  Wet grass, the mud will be slippery.  I shall practice! hopefully that at least..  Good bye! for now..